What Mom Said

Dad often took the role of the enforcer in the home in which I grew up. He was the back-up whenever mom had a tough time getting us boys in line. I dreaded the words, “Go wait in your room till your father comes home.” It meant a long wait with a dismal end. I wanted all disciplinary issues to be settled by mom, if possible. So at that point there would be groveling and promises. Perhaps, if we hadn’t pushed things too far, she would accept our questionable penance.

It was always best just to obey mom. She was, of course, wiser than we thought. And she was always on our side – she believed in us (she still does) and enduringly sought the best for us. My mother used to tell me, “You can do anything you want, if you put your mind to it.” She absolutely believed it. I didn’t know she really meant it; I thought it was just one of those things that parents are obligated to tell their children. I didn’t understand the wisdom she was trying to impart, the confidence she felt for us, her hopes for our future. I was just a kid, after all. But I soaked it in through her repetition and eventually it came to have meaning that shapes me.

It means, “I believe in you.” Whatever foolishness I may have gotten into; whatever failure, or even success I may have experienced, that was not going to define her complete vision for my life. There was more ahead: more achievement, more joy, more success, more inside that can be tapped for the future. Children need to hear that their mother believes in them.

It means, “Focus on what is important.” Put yourself to what is worth accomplishing in school, in friendships, in life. Move the distractions to the sidelines and the bleachers and let the important stuff keep your attention.

It means, “You get to choose whether or not the world around you is a better place.” It is optimism, soaked in reality. You make the difference whether good things happen; life doesn’t just happen to you. Sure some things will be beyond your control and sometimes you are just blindsided by circumstances, but even then, you can change things.

That's what mom meant when she said, "You can do anything you want, if you put your mind to it." Her words continue to shape my life. Thank for believing in us, mom. Your blessing makes a difference in the course of our lives.

Moms Can Do That

Of course she gave me life, yet it is difficult to imagine my mother carrying me. King David imagined himself being knit together in his mother’s womb by the wonder of God’s creative power. My mother had just turned twenty-three a month before giving birth to yours truly, having already given birth to my older brother . When I turned 23, I was looking forward to graduation and marrying Donna – I had not yet found my first ministry. I was only beginning to learn about life and responsibility at the age when mom was already raising 2 children. But it’s not how young she was that makes her special to me, it’s how she loved me and cared for me – and still does.

Mom’s get away with things most of us would never allow anyone else to think about. Mom would take a tissue out of her purse and wet it to wipe some smudge from my childish face. Not many people could do that, but mom could. She could tell her friends some embarrassing story on me while sitting around the kitchen table. Of course I would be self-conscious, but who can stop a mother from telling stories on her children? Mom’s can make you hug them when you’re in front of your teenage friends – and while they have their arms around you, they’ll place a wet kiss on your cheek and give you all sorts of motherly instructions (for which your teenaged friends are certainly grateful) like, don’t drive too fast, or stay out too late, or go to some place not pre-approved by mom.

I truly felt ashamed of those expressions of love. They seemed so juvenile, when I felt so grown-up. But now, when I see some young mother tenderly loving her unhappy and unappreciative child, I often think of how my own mother cherished me when I was the squirming, complaining, unhappy one. I knew I was loved, but I didn’t see it up close in those moments.

Maybe that’s a little like Peter saying to Jesus, You’re not going to wash my feet! To which Jesus replied, “If I don’t wash you, you have no part with me.” Mom would have said, “Get over here; I’m your mother.”

Thank you, Mom. And thank you, God, for moms.

(I realize that not everyone has a mom worthy of honor, but I must honor my own.)